Making it last
I think virtually everyone begins the new year with some form of “resolutions,” whether they call them goals, visions or whatever, the bottom line is hope for different results or a new future. I think it is easy to have hope in the beginning of a new year or the beginning of a new venture. The future looks bright and shiny. This is the year I am going to… (fill in the blank). Inevitably, most people hit a wall of some kind. Things happen and suddenly the resolution (or goal) doesn’t seem quite as important or we are faced with a choice and make the familiar one over an uncomfortable new choice. For the most part, by February few people can remember their resolutions and have abandoned the hope of a new future. It becomes one more time we failed or let ourselves down. Everybody does it, what’s the big deal? We take solace in other people’s failure to keep their resolutions. Mediocrity abounds.
I am not saying any of this to be cynical. I’m saying this in hopes of waking us up to a new possibility. What if you actually could set out a goal and be reliable in achieving it? What if you could count on yourself to keep your word, to be able to make choices consistent with the future you wanted? What kind of life would that be?
I have a theory that the reason we are not reliable in achieving our goals is that we rely on the traditional approach of fixing our weaknesses. This way of thinking, handed down to us through the generations, sets us up to fail. It makes us focus on our weaknesses and try to force ourselves to “tough it out.” We design life around fixing our weaknesses which perpetuates failing. We have this belief that if it is not hard to achieve it is not worthwhile. What??? Who made that up? As a society we are constantly inventing things to make life easier, cell phones, PDA’s, laptops, vacuum cleaners, microwaves, snowblowers, GPS’s, I could go on and on. All these ‘things’ to make the tasks of life easier. That’s ok, but achieving a goal? That’s supposed to be difficult or it is not worthy of mention. Somehow it is alright that we have abandoned the tools of our fore bearers for new gadgets but it is not ok to let go of the ways of thinking they used.
This paradigm makes us discount and devalue our successes. I believe that transforming this is the key to not only achieving our goals but redefining what’s possible. When you focus on your successes, the times you have felt energized, or achieved the desired outcome, you begin to see patterns, the elements that support your success. You begin to identify ways of thinking and being that contribute to your success. When you know these, (I call them the conditions under which you work best) you have the opportunity to design your life to ensure your continued success; to design life to operate at your peak performance. It is not that you won’t be challenged and grow, it’s that you will grow and be challenged in the areas where you have the best chance of succeeding. You will grow towards mastery of your strengths. Your learn to manage around your weaknesses and stop fighting a losing battle.
If you want to have a new future or achieve different results it must begin with changing your thinking from a deficit, focus on your weaknesses approach to an Appreciative, value and focus on what works about you approach. Not only will you become reliable in getting what you want but the change will last and last because you will have structures that support your success rather than structures that deny it.
Add comment January 3rd, 2010