“You’ve got to ask. Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful and neglected secret to success and happiness.” ~ Percy Ross, Philanthropist and Entrepreneur
Somewhere along the way, being a “lone ranger” became revered. Going solo became the ideal. The irony is, it is virtually impossible to accomplish anything alone. There is always someone who contributed to the accomplishment.
Additionally, truly successful people ask for help. Ever watch an awards show? The winners stand at the microphone and thank everyone who helped them achieve their successes. You never hear anyone stand up there and say, “I did it all by myself.”
Being free to ask for what you need or want is powerful. Most people love having the opportunity to say yes to helping or contributing to someone’s success. Don’t you love it when you can help someone? When you know you made a difference in someone’s life? Doesn’t it feel awesome? Why would you want to rob someone of that feeling? Let people contribute to you and everyone wins.*
I wrote the above in 2009 for my book 31 Days to Transform Your Life and to this day it intrigues me to see how much people resist asking for help or support. It’s as if there is some prize at the end of our life for having done it alone.
I have found this especially true in the workplace. The fear of looking bad or incompetent seems to supersede the ability to ask for help. I mean, I get it. I have dealt with this my whole life too. As I stated above, this is a cultural message we get from birth, “Be strong and self-sufficient,” “Don’t let anybody see you sweat.”
It’s weird though because as the latest neuroscience research is showing, human beings have a real need to connect and be a part of something bigger than themselves. Not asking for support or help goes along with our upbringing but against our nature.
I have been experimenting with asking for the last 10 years or so since I started my business. It is amazing how many yes’s I have gotten. I have had people mentor me, give me advice, discounts and all kinds of things simply by asking. That’s not to say, I haven’t gotten no’s, I have. However, I have noticed I feel more empowered and energized when I ask then when I don’t regardless of the answer.
Remember: “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” Nora Roberts, Author
If you find you are a “Do it all myself and suffer” person and want to see what else is possible, contact me for a free strategy session. I have an opening in my coaching practice.
*Excerpt from 31 Days to Transform Your Life, Written by Lisa Giruzzi, Published 2009