The reason we can’t get along is because people like being right more than almost anything. And when I say people I mean you. I also mean me. I mean EVERYONE.
I know what you are saying to yourself right now, “Not me! Sure, I know people who are like that but not me!” That is you being right about what I am saying (and deciding I am wrong).
Look, we all have opinions about everything. That’s not the problem. The problem is we think everyone should share the same opinion we have. If they don’t that means they are obviously wrong. Because if they aren’t wrong then I must be wrong and that’s not possible.
It is ridiculous but it is the way you think. Case in point. Think of one person you struggle to get along with. It could be a co-worker, boss, employee, relative, child, etc. If you want to resolve the issue, make your life easier and have better results, let them be right.
You read that correctly. Let them be right. Operate from the point of view that they are right and you are wrong. If every ounce of you is freaking out, good! That proves my point. It is in your own self-interest to get along with this person, your life would be easier, less stressful and you will have better results and still you won’t let go of being right.
What if there was another option? What if instead of looking at it from a right/wrong standpoint you viewed it as both opinions were valid? They are you know. In my workshops and trainings I do an exercise where I hold up a blank legal pad with the lined pages facing the audience. I ask for a volunteer to describe to me what they see. Invariably, the volunteer will say something like “a lined blank piece of paper”. I tell them they are wrong, and try a different volunteer. This happens a number of times until everyone is frustrated and thinks I am delusional. Then I show them what I could see, the cardboard back of the pad.
I then ask them, “Who was right?” The answer, we both were, depending on the perspective you were looking from. The people you struggle with the most can’t see it your way because their perspective only allows them one way to see it. When you view opinions like they are valid (vs. right or wrong) it allows you the opportunity to get curious about the other opinion, inquire into it and engage with it authentically without becoming defensive or worried about being wrong. Once you do that, then it is far more likely that you will come to a shared understanding and get along.
The programs and workshops I provide get to the heart of communication breakdowns and produce outstanding results. Want to learn more? Contact me for a free strategy session by clicking here.
